”On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, “How did you do over the weekend?”“Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.”“Seventeen people? That’s wonderful. How did you do it?”“I used a diagram, your honor I drew two circles like this: Oo. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs.”“That’s admirable,” says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. “And how did you do?”“Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.”“Wow!” says the judge. “156 people! How did you manage to do that?”“Well, I used a similar diagram,” the guy says. “I drew two circles like this: oO. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, ‘This is your asshole before prison...”This is compliments of J & BJust some DEEP thoughts for 2017• The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.• My therapist said that my. Be careful about reading the fine print ... there's no way you're going to like it.16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than in aPinto.19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind ... and the ones that mind don't matter.21. Life isn't tied with a bow ... but it's still a gift.This one is compliments of chuckOld men can still think fastAn elderly man in the Atherton Tablelands in Queensland had owned a large farm for several years.He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, a barbecue and some apple and peach trees.One evening the old farmer.
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